Memorials and Funerals
Planning a Celebration of a Life for Yourself or a Loved One
(Please click HERE to download the printable version of this page. Details are subject to change, please contact the church directly for the planning of a service.)
The liturgy for the dead is an Easter liturgy. It finds all meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we too, shall be raised.
The liturgy, therefore, is characterized by joy, in the certainty that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
This joy, however, does not make human grief unchristian. The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So, while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn. -Book of Common Prayer, pg. 507
(Please click HERE to download the printable version of this page. Details are subject to change, please contact the church directly for the planning of a service.)
The liturgy for the dead is an Easter liturgy. It finds all meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we too, shall be raised.
The liturgy, therefore, is characterized by joy, in the certainty that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
This joy, however, does not make human grief unchristian. The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So, while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn. -Book of Common Prayer, pg. 507
There are different terms to keep in mind
The preferred location for a service is at the church, but a memorial, funeral or celebration of a life can be done at the funeral home, graveside, or a location of your choice.
Whatever you choose, the service will be filled the certain hope of the resurrection. We believe that God is bringing all things to completion for the sake of his resurrected Son, Jesus Christ. We will work with the funeral home of your choice. We consider it an honor to give your family the very best experience in saying good-bye to a loved one.
The preferred location for a service is at the church, but a memorial, funeral or celebration of a life can be done at the funeral home, graveside, or a location of your choice.
- A Celebration of Life or Memorial is a worship service with no body present.
- A Funeral is a worship service that includes a body in the midst of the people.
- A Graveside service can be a full worship service and/or an interment service.
Whatever you choose, the service will be filled the certain hope of the resurrection. We believe that God is bringing all things to completion for the sake of his resurrected Son, Jesus Christ. We will work with the funeral home of your choice. We consider it an honor to give your family the very best experience in saying good-bye to a loved one.
LOGISTICS
Meeting with the Clergy and Organist
The clergy will meet with you at your earliest convenience to help you walk through the steps of the this planning guide and the funeral. He or she will be there to answer any liturgical, logistical, and pastoral questions you may have and help you with the grief process. You may also make any special requests at this time. Typically only one meeting is required, however, a follow-up may be needed or requested at the behest of either party. You will also need to meet with the organist to determine musical needs. This meeting will take place at a time convenient to both parties. The information obtained from these meetings will be used to put together a service bulletin.
Caskets and urns
Immediately following the worship service the ashes or casket are buried or interred. Arrangements for a graveside committal are often made by the funeral home of your choice. The coffin, when present, is closed and is always covered by a pall, which the church provides.
Obituary and Worship Bulletin
Email the church office a copy of the obituary to be included in the bulletin, which is provided by the church. [email protected]
Flowers
Flower arrangements and pictures are welcome to be placed in the Narthex of the Church (the lobby). One vase may be placed behind the Altar (unless the Altar is already decorated for another service, then it is not changed). Flowers other than Altar flowers may decorate the narthex (lobby). They may be ordered through the church florist or the florist of your choice. If you need assistance, the Altar Guild can help you with the order.
Memorial Gifts
In lieu of flowers, you may designate donations in the name of the deceased to Ascension Church or an organization.
Musician Fees & Clergy Honorarium
Receptions:
You are welcome to use Ascension’s Parish Hall (maximum occupancy - 239) for a catered or family member sponsored potluck reception. The kitchen facilities are not available. There is a set-up/clean-up fee, of which the exact cost is dependent on individual needs and determined at the service planning session.
Meeting with the Clergy and Organist
The clergy will meet with you at your earliest convenience to help you walk through the steps of the this planning guide and the funeral. He or she will be there to answer any liturgical, logistical, and pastoral questions you may have and help you with the grief process. You may also make any special requests at this time. Typically only one meeting is required, however, a follow-up may be needed or requested at the behest of either party. You will also need to meet with the organist to determine musical needs. This meeting will take place at a time convenient to both parties. The information obtained from these meetings will be used to put together a service bulletin.
Caskets and urns
Immediately following the worship service the ashes or casket are buried or interred. Arrangements for a graveside committal are often made by the funeral home of your choice. The coffin, when present, is closed and is always covered by a pall, which the church provides.
Obituary and Worship Bulletin
Email the church office a copy of the obituary to be included in the bulletin, which is provided by the church. [email protected]
Flowers
Flower arrangements and pictures are welcome to be placed in the Narthex of the Church (the lobby). One vase may be placed behind the Altar (unless the Altar is already decorated for another service, then it is not changed). Flowers other than Altar flowers may decorate the narthex (lobby). They may be ordered through the church florist or the florist of your choice. If you need assistance, the Altar Guild can help you with the order.
Memorial Gifts
In lieu of flowers, you may designate donations in the name of the deceased to Ascension Church or an organization.
Musician Fees & Clergy Honorarium
- If the family gives a gift to the priest, it is paid directly to priest.
- Ascension provides an organist at a cost of $250, paid directly to the organist at the conclusion of the planning session. The organist’s services includes a 30 minute organ prelude, service music & hymns, and a closing voluntary. All fees are due prior to the actual service. If you choose to use an organist outside of the one provided, an organist fee must still be paid. The person you choose to play will need to be treated as an additional instrumentalist, therefore you will need to discuss any other fees with that person and handle those payment options separately.
- Any soloist or instrumentalist is paid separately, based on their individual fees, which can vary from average $150.00.
Receptions:
You are welcome to use Ascension’s Parish Hall (maximum occupancy - 239) for a catered or family member sponsored potluck reception. The kitchen facilities are not available. There is a set-up/clean-up fee, of which the exact cost is dependent on individual needs and determined at the service planning session.
PLANNING THE WORSHIP SERVICE
You will need to provide specific information for the printing of the bulletin, such as:
Would you like a picture of the deceased on the bulletin cover? If so, please send an electronic copy of the picture to the office. If an electronic copy is not available, please bring one into the office so we may scan it. We have beautiful cross images, as seen below, that maybe placed on the cover of the bulletin, or you may use one of your choice.
You will need to provide specific information for the printing of the bulletin, such as:
- Full Name of the deceased as you would like it to appear in the bulletin
- Date of Birth
- Date of Death
- Date of Service
Would you like a picture of the deceased on the bulletin cover? If so, please send an electronic copy of the picture to the office. If an electronic copy is not available, please bring one into the office so we may scan it. We have beautiful cross images, as seen below, that maybe placed on the cover of the bulletin, or you may use one of your choice.
There are two “Rites” in the Book of Common Prayer, please choose which rite you prefer.
Regardless of which rite you use, you may choose to have a Eucharistic service (that is a service with communion). Please read through the various prayers listed below, and choose which service you would like to have.
We will also need to know if the body or ashes be present at the service.
- Rite I (traditional language) BCP p. 469
- Rite II (contemporary language) BCP p. 491
Regardless of which rite you use, you may choose to have a Eucharistic service (that is a service with communion). Please read through the various prayers listed below, and choose which service you would like to have.
- Rite I, Eucharistic Prayer I, p. 333
- Rite I, Eucharistic Prayer II, p. 340
- Rite II, Eucharistic Prayer A, p. 361
- Rite II, Eucharistic Prayer B, p. 367
- Rite II, Eucharistic Prayer D, p. 372
We will also need to know if the body or ashes be present at the service.
Moving Forward....
Would you like the organist to play service? Our organist is available to play for the fee discussed earlier in this document.
Soloists and Other music
A great way to include your musically inclined family and friends would be to allow them to play at your service. They must provide their own instrument or may use the piano. Please let us know who is playing or singing, what song, and what instrument.
If you do not have anyone specific in mind, but still have a special request, such as a flutist or guitar player, our music leader may be able to help you. You may discuss special requests with the pastor, when you meet with him.
Servers
There are many opportunities for friends and family to serve. You may select up to six people to serve as ushers. They will help seat guests as they arrive, pass out bulletins, and be available to answer questions, such as restroom location and reception information.
You may also choose someone to serve as crucifer, acolyte, and chalice bearer; however, the person or persons selected must be trained in the Episcopal Church. In either capacity, if you do not know anyone who is trained or if no one is available, please know that Ascension members consider it a privilege to serve.
Would you like the organist to play service? Our organist is available to play for the fee discussed earlier in this document.
Soloists and Other music
A great way to include your musically inclined family and friends would be to allow them to play at your service. They must provide their own instrument or may use the piano. Please let us know who is playing or singing, what song, and what instrument.
If you do not have anyone specific in mind, but still have a special request, such as a flutist or guitar player, our music leader may be able to help you. You may discuss special requests with the pastor, when you meet with him.
Servers
There are many opportunities for friends and family to serve. You may select up to six people to serve as ushers. They will help seat guests as they arrive, pass out bulletins, and be available to answer questions, such as restroom location and reception information.
You may also choose someone to serve as crucifer, acolyte, and chalice bearer; however, the person or persons selected must be trained in the Episcopal Church. In either capacity, if you do not know anyone who is trained or if no one is available, please know that Ascension members consider it a privilege to serve.
Worship Order
Here you will find the order of service. In each section, you will see a listing of suggested readings and hymns. These are by no means the only scriptures or hymns you may use. They are listed to help you if you are unsure what you would like.
Traditional and Contemporary, ancient to modern, music are welcome as long as it is oriented towards the praise of God. If there is a song or songs that you would like to have played, but are not sure if they are appropriate, the Pastor will help you decide.
The prelude is a series of songs that are played while guests are arriving and being seated. The organist begins playing approximately 30 minutes before the service starts. You may also choose to have a silent entrance, and go without a prelude. Below you will see two examples from services that have been held at Ascension.
Example 1: When in the hour of utmost need, BWV 641 J. S. Bach
Nimrod from Enigma Variations Sir. Edward Elgar
Chorale Prelude on “Abide with me” Noel Rawsthorne
I call to Thee, Lord Jesus Christ, BWV 639 J. S. Bach
"God's time is best", Sinfonia from Cantata 106 J.S. Bach
Example 2: Largo in E from Concerto Grosso # 12 George Frideric Handel
When in the hour of utmost need, BWV 641 J. S. Bach
Chorale Prelude on “Abide with me” Noel Rawsthorne
I call to Thee, Lord Jesus Christ, BWV 639 J. S. Bach
"God's time is best", Sinfonia from Cantata 106 J.S. Bach
Next is the Opening Hymn. It is traditionally sung by the congregation and may have the words printed in the bulletin. If the selected hymn is sung from the hymnal, it is not recommended that the words are printed. Please see the suggested hymn listing at the end of the document.
Here you will find the order of service. In each section, you will see a listing of suggested readings and hymns. These are by no means the only scriptures or hymns you may use. They are listed to help you if you are unsure what you would like.
Traditional and Contemporary, ancient to modern, music are welcome as long as it is oriented towards the praise of God. If there is a song or songs that you would like to have played, but are not sure if they are appropriate, the Pastor will help you decide.
The prelude is a series of songs that are played while guests are arriving and being seated. The organist begins playing approximately 30 minutes before the service starts. You may also choose to have a silent entrance, and go without a prelude. Below you will see two examples from services that have been held at Ascension.
Example 1: When in the hour of utmost need, BWV 641 J. S. Bach
Nimrod from Enigma Variations Sir. Edward Elgar
Chorale Prelude on “Abide with me” Noel Rawsthorne
I call to Thee, Lord Jesus Christ, BWV 639 J. S. Bach
"God's time is best", Sinfonia from Cantata 106 J.S. Bach
Example 2: Largo in E from Concerto Grosso # 12 George Frideric Handel
When in the hour of utmost need, BWV 641 J. S. Bach
Chorale Prelude on “Abide with me” Noel Rawsthorne
I call to Thee, Lord Jesus Christ, BWV 639 J. S. Bach
"God's time is best", Sinfonia from Cantata 106 J.S. Bach
Next is the Opening Hymn. It is traditionally sung by the congregation and may have the words printed in the bulletin. If the selected hymn is sung from the hymnal, it is not recommended that the words are printed. Please see the suggested hymn listing at the end of the document.
Four readings are recommended for a memorial service. Typically there is an old testament reading, a psalm, a new testament reading, and the gospel. You are not required to have any more than one and it is not recommended to exceed four. If this is a communion service, the gospel is required.
The First Lesson is traditionally an Old Testament reading, and may be read by a family member or friend. You may use one of the suggestions or choose your own.
Old Testament and Apocrypha Readings (Please see the downloadable document for the full readings)
Please identify who will be reading the First Lesson.
The First Lesson is traditionally an Old Testament reading, and may be read by a family member or friend. You may use one of the suggestions or choose your own.
Old Testament and Apocrypha Readings (Please see the downloadable document for the full readings)
- Isaiah 25:6-9 (He will swallow up death in victory)
- Isaiah 61:1-3 (To comfort all that mourn)
- Lamentations 3:22-26, 31-33 (The Lord is good unto them that wait for him)
- Wisdom 3:1-5, 9 (The souls of the righteous are in the hand of God)
- Job 19:21-27a (I know that my Redeemer liveth)
- Or other reading: __________________________________________________
Please identify who will be reading the First Lesson.
Here is an opportunity for a Psalm, Canticle, or Hymn. The Psalm may be sung or spoken, read by an individual or spoken together by all. The words may be printed in the bulletin.
Psalms (Please see the downloadable document for the full readings)
Please answer a few questions regarding the Psalm:
Psalms (Please see the downloadable document for the full readings)
- Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd) Rite I or Rite II version
- Psalm 27 (The Lord is my light and my salvation: whom shall I fear?)
- Psalm 42 (As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God)
- Psalm 90 (Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations)
- Psalm 116 (I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my supplications)
- Psalm 121 (I lift up my eyes to the hills – from where will my help come?)
- Psalm 130 (out of the depths I cry to you. O Lord)
- Psalm 139 (O Lord, you have searched me and known me)
- Or other Psalm, Canticle, or Hymn ________________________________________
Please answer a few questions regarding the Psalm:
- Will it be sung or spoken?
- By an individual or the Congregation?
- Read as a Call and Response?
- If it is to be read by an individual, who will be reading?
- Would you like the words printed in the bulletin?
The Second Lesson is traditionally a New Testament reading, and may also be read by a family member or friend. You may use one of the suggestions or choose your own.
New Testament Readings (Please see the downloadable document for the full readings)
Please identify who will be reading the Second Lesson.
New Testament Readings (Please see the downloadable document for the full readings)
- Romans 8:14-19, 34-35, 37-39 (Neither death, nor life…will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord)
- 1 Corinthians 15:20-26, 35-38 42-48. 53-58 (Christ has been raised from the dead)
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-5:9 (So we do not lose heart)
- 1 John 3:1-2 (See what the father has given us)
- Revelation 7:9-17 (there was a great multitude)
- Revelation 21:2-7 (And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem)
- Or other reading: __________________________________________________
Please identify who will be reading the Second Lesson.
Typically there is a hymn between the Second reading and the reading of the gospel. It is called the Sequence Hymn. Suggested hymns are found at the end of this document. You may also request a song, such as the ‘Wind beneath my Wings”, or “In Christ Alone.” Special requests are at the organist’s discretion with the rector’s approval.
The Gospel is the final reading and is read by the pastor. If there will be communion, there must be a Gospel reading. You may use one of the suggestions or choose your own.
Gospel Readings
Gospel Readings
- John 5:24-27 (anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life)
- John 6:37-40 (Everything that the father gives me will come to me)
- John 10:11-16 (I am the good shepherd)
- John 11:21-27 (Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died)
- John 14:1-6 (Do not let your hearts be troubled)
- Or other Gospel reading ____________________________________________
Reflections
For the sake of those coming to remember your loved one, please ask those who are giving a eulogy
to write out their thoughts and limit individual eulogies to 5 minutes per person.
Homily
There will be a brief reflection on the scriptures by the priest.
The Apostles Creed follows the homily.
For the sake of those coming to remember your loved one, please ask those who are giving a eulogy
to write out their thoughts and limit individual eulogies to 5 minutes per person.
Homily
There will be a brief reflection on the scriptures by the priest.
The Apostles Creed follows the homily.
For a Non-Eucharistic Service the Lord’s Prayer is recited next and then the Prayers of the People. At this time, you may request any special prayers, such as the serenity prayer, the Al-Anon prayer, Prayers of St. Francis, etc. You may have a family member or friend read the prayers, if you choose.
To continue for a non-Eucharistic service, please skip the next section and go to the commendation.
To continue for a non-Eucharistic service, please skip the next section and go to the commendation.
For a Eucharistic Service, the prayers of the People are next, followed by the passing of the peace. Once everyone is seated, the service continues with communion. The Prayers may be read by a family member or friend.
During the communion, an offertory anthem is played while the pastor is setting the table. If you choose to take an offering, the plates may also be passed at this time. Please select an anthem that you would like at this time and let us know if you would like the plates passed. (Suggested hymns are listed on the last page.)
You also need to select a minimum of two hymns to be played during communion. If you expect an excess of 125 guests you may select a third hymn.
During the communion, an offertory anthem is played while the pastor is setting the table. If you choose to take an offering, the plates may also be passed at this time. Please select an anthem that you would like at this time and let us know if you would like the plates passed. (Suggested hymns are listed on the last page.)
You also need to select a minimum of two hymns to be played during communion. If you expect an excess of 125 guests you may select a third hymn.
Commendation
If the body or ashes are present, the Commendation is read (a prayer is said over the body/ashes, BCP 499) then blessing, then dismissal
If the body or ashes are not present, please proceed to the Blessing and Dismissal.
If the body or ashes are present, the Commendation is read (a prayer is said over the body/ashes, BCP 499) then blessing, then dismissal
If the body or ashes are not present, please proceed to the Blessing and Dismissal.
After the Blessing, is spoken the Dismissal will read as follows:
Celebrant Alleluia, Alleluia, Let us go forth into the world, rejoicing in the power of the Spirit.
People Thanks be to God, Alleluia, Alleluia.
Celebrant Alleluia, Alleluia, Let us go forth into the world, rejoicing in the power of the Spirit.
People Thanks be to God, Alleluia, Alleluia.
The Dismissal is followed by the Closing Hymn, which is sung by the congregation at the conclusion of the service. Here are some time tested and well respected suggestions:
- Jesus is Risen Today (207)
- Alleluia! The Strife Is O'er The Battle Done (208)
- For All The Saints, Who From Their Labors Rest (287)
- Joyful, Joyful (376)
- O God, Our Help In Ages Past (680)
- A Mighty Fortress Is Our God (687 or 688)
- Or Closing Hymn of your choice _____________________________________________
As with the prelude, the Postlude, or closing voluntary, is played for about 15 minutes after the service, while the guests are exiting the church. Here are some examples that have been used at previous Ascension services or you may choose to have a silent exit:
Please let us know at this time if there will be military or other honors, or any additional requests that may not have been previously discussed.
- Elegy (John Ireland)
- Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring (J.S. Bach)
- Choral (Joseph Jongen)
- Or Postlude of your choice: ____________________________________________________
Please let us know at this time if there will be military or other honors, or any additional requests that may not have been previously discussed.
You may choose to leave a copy of the worship planning pages with the Church and
let loved ones know that you have made these choices by sharing this information with them.
Suggested Hymns w/Hymn Number
(from The Hymnal 1982)
let loved ones know that you have made these choices by sharing this information with them.
Suggested Hymns w/Hymn Number
(from The Hymnal 1982)
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